[There would be plenty of time for witty banter later.]

We both can, since the shoulder will be hard for you to reach properly. [He pulled down his skeletal first aid kit as he spoke.] Dunno if we'll need stitches for you and, frankly, I don't have the supplies or much skill at it. Emergency patch-ups I can do...but I'm no expert.

[The box was passed off after he found the tube of gel.]

I'm also going to want your help cleaning up any mess. Somehow I doubt that peroxide will work on cleaning these bloodstains.