[And it was something he was sought to understand underneath his agitation and trouble focusing. Even underneath his own hurt underneath the cutting actions and words, he was willing to make the attempt]
I think it was a misunderstanding, and the fact that I was trying to be something that I fundamentally am not. I did shake on it with Adele, and did drink on it...and it was a gesture that meant a lot to me. My partners back home, we never did anything so...'official.' This was something different, a solemn agreement to be by each other's side. The same goes for Luke--I want to think that our friendship is more than Shift related. There are days when I have a hard time understanding him because our views are too different, but I trust him...and that's the bottom line.
But I've been taking it easy for two months. I can't do it anymore. Once I'm stable on the pills again, I know that it's just going to hit that same plateau level that it did before. It won't get much better than that until November. [Because he did his research, and he made his calculations.]
...I've gone back to work, not as much as before. It helps, kind of. Working with Smoker always helps. There are materials I need to get, tasks that I need to accomplish...
September 19th [Action]
[And it was something he was sought to understand underneath his agitation and trouble focusing. Even underneath his own hurt underneath the cutting actions and words, he was willing to make the attempt]
I think it was a misunderstanding, and the fact that I was trying to be something that I fundamentally am not. I did shake on it with Adele, and did drink on it...and it was a gesture that meant a lot to me. My partners back home, we never did anything so...'official.' This was something different, a solemn agreement to be by each other's side. The same goes for Luke--I want to think that our friendship is more than Shift related. There are days when I have a hard time understanding him because our views are too different, but I trust him...and that's the bottom line.
But I've been taking it easy for two months. I can't do it anymore. Once I'm stable on the pills again, I know that it's just going to hit that same plateau level that it did before. It won't get much better than that until November. [Because he did his research, and he made his calculations.]
...I've gone back to work, not as much as before. It helps, kind of. Working with Smoker always helps. There are materials I need to get, tasks that I need to accomplish...
I'm tired of sitting quietly and waiting.